Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Long Trek Home




So.. Hard.. To stay serious... :D
Glasses: Warby Parker//Top: Anthropologie// Scarf: Handmade// 

New Beginnings 

For those of you who follow me on Instagram, you may know that I've been mentioning moving across the country, once again. I will now spill the beans and stop being so mysterious since I have finally settled and come to terms with everything that is happening. 

To give you a little bit of a back story, I moved to San Francisco only 7 months ago with my Fiancee, Jake. Since I was 16 (10 years ago, yikes!) I've been working in animal clinics and went to school to become a licensed veterinary technician. I practiced as a CVT for about 5 years now, and towards the end, I was working in emergency neurology/neurosurgery and was growing my experience to apply to veterinary school. I absolutely LOVED the work, but the longer I worked in this field, the more I realized how crappy it was. I would always make jusstt barely above minimum wage and I was constantly struggling to stay afloat financially. Combine this with a few horrible bosses in a row and working full time (sometimes going into 50+ hours a week) while going to school full time was just enough for me to hang up my scrubs and call it done. I was just super burned out towards the end. 

After moving to San Francisco, I started entertaining the idea of changing my career entirely but the only work experience I have is in a laboratory or in animal medicine. I felt completely out of my element and I really missed working with animals. I started looking into transferring universities to finish my Biology degree (I have 1 year left!) and all the nearby schools were either wildly expensive, completely impacted or they were NOT able to accept any transfer or biology students until Fall 2017. At this same time, my parents gave me a call out of the blue and offered to support me financially so I could finish school IF I moved back home. I wouldn't have to work so I can concentrate on my studies and I would be able to return to the original university I was part of before moving. I was really pissed off at first, like, "I don't need you guys and I can do this on my own like i've been" but I eventually realized that school and animals is what i've been missing, and that my parents were making it really easy for me to get back into the swing of things. I called my school back in Chicago and was able to sign up for classes that day. The only catch was that my spring classes started two weeks from that point! My family and I made the snap decision to fly me out immediately and I was on a plane within 5 days. 


The Silver Lining

Ok, so here I am, writing this in Chicago during a freaking snow storm. I've been a complete emotional wreck this entire time and I cried so hard at the airport, they gave me free priority access and a window seat upgrade to cry out of some more. It's been hard to swallow my pride and move back home since I've been living independently away from home for 6 years now, but I really am grateful that I have family who can and wants to help me. OH, one more thing that is making this decision extremely hard- we decided that it was best if Jake is stayed in San Francisco while Carl and I flew home... Yeah... Jake is doing exceptionally well out there and there's no way I could expect him to sacrifice his career and happiness for me. I feel extremely heartbroken and traumatized, but I know deep down that this was the best decision for me right now and my future. Jake supports my decision 100% and he wants to make sure I am doing what makes me happy. We are going to be a long distance couple and visit each other as often as possible. :)

I start classes next week, and I'm really nervous. You guys should see how many new stress pimples I have grown, it's actually really impressive. I do plan to apply to vet school in the near future, so I will keep everyone updated with that! Meanwhile, I am busy hunting down school supplies (I LOVE school supplies) and I also decided to make myself feel more studious with a fresh new pair of glasses and silver hair. Old lady vibes, anyone? I like to think I was going for older and wiser haha. I was feeling really frumpy and stressed out, so I ordered 5 pairs of classes from Warby Parker from their at home try on program and took them all for a spin ;) I really like the ones pictured above and think that mixing up my look will help me transition better to the new me. Also, before the move, I naturally procrastinated packing hardcore and just sat around in bed, alternating between naps and drinking coffee. 

I just got to Chicago yesterday afternoon, and it's been a rough adjustment. Also, it's like 2 degrees right now and snowing, but I got a cute little car to get me around and I am ready to start school again. Wish me luck everyone and I'm so sorry for the lack of posting lately! 2016 has just been a complete rollercoaster so far but I am ready to enjoy the ride! Thank you all so much for reading and for your continuous support! :) 

50 comments:

  1. Honey babe! (I don't know where that name came from, but I like it and we're going with it...) You are such an inspiration. That was an incredibly difficult decision you made but I agree that it was the right one for your career and long-term happiness. The long distance from your fiance will only be temporary, and I am positive you both will come out even stronger for it, both in your love for each other and in your own personal strength. Go get 'em, girl! Kick butt in Chicago and enjoy the family time. Also, please let me know when you're back in SF so we can finally meet in person! <3

    Christina
    closet-luxe.com

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    1. Christina! Your kind words seriously made me soo happy to read :) You are seriously amazing! I am sorry it took so long to get back to this, I took a mini vacation from my life haha! It's been a REALLY rocky transition but I know it will be OK in the end. I will be visiting SF a lot and you know you will be one of the first people I hit up! I am so sorry we couldn't do coffee before I left. Next time I come around, I owe you one! Thank you so much for always being so kind and thoughtful. You always bring a smile to my face! :)

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  2. I think you've made the right decision, even though it may not exactly seem like it now, it will pay off in the long term. I hope Chicago treats you well and you enjoy being back at your old school! <3

    Albertine x

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    1. Thank you so much Albertine! It's been difficult to adjust, but I know school is the best option for me right now. Thanks for always being so sweet and supportive- It really means so much to me! :) I hope you are having a good weekend so far and I hope you're able to relax a bit!

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  3. Aw, babe. That sounds so tough. You are handling it like a champ though! My spouse and I had to do long distance for a while. Like across the U.S. long distance so we didn't get to see each other very often...it was tough at times (of course), but we made it through and you can too. Love you! Sending hugs and kisses.

    --Elise
    www.caturdaystyle.com

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    1. Oh my gosh, I had no idea you guys were long distance too!! You know, I sometimes think I like the long distance thing because it forces you to communicate better and sending letters and care packages is fun but on the other hand it can be REALLY difficult and lonely. I feel a lot better knowing you two got through it! That is so inspiring! Thanks for always cheering me up Elise! I hope you're having a great weekend :)

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  4. Oh, you look so stunning! I'm in love with your glasses! I wish you all the best:)

    Check out my blog if you want: www.theglamandglitter.com

    Tamara xxx

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    1. Thank you so much Tamara! I hope you are doing well :)

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  5. I'm sad you're no longer on the west coast, but am extremely proud of you too for doing what your passion is calling you to do! Going back to school is extremely difficult after a long hiatus and without the burden of student loans, it makes that much easier and almost makes it feel that much more important. There's nothing wrong with accepting help from your parents who have raised you and love you and want to help you. Not having to pay for student loans is a great thing and it does not take away from the fact that you've been independent and can do it on your own, they're just giving you a boost so you can get to it faster, haha. I also think that going back to school and earning the degree to do what you want will also satisfy you emotionally and mentally. I can't wait to hear more of your journeys in school and in Chicago! And of course, when you go back to visit Jake in SF =). I know you'll be able to get into the swing of things in no time but I will say goodluck in school! I know me and science didn't go together so well so I have that much more respect for people in math and sciences, lolz.

    -Kirstie

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    1. OMG I knowww we are no longer neighbors anymore! :( It was so sad leaving the west coast for chilly Chicago (it's been FREEZING here... I have made a mistake! haha) but I know its only temporary :) Thank you so much for understanding and always having my back, Kirstie! It's been really hard to accept help and move back in with my parents, but It's all for the best in the end. And oh gosh, don't you know me and Math doesn't go well together either, so I will definitely keep you updated on how crazy school is this semester! I hope you are doing well and thank you soo much for taking the time to read my post! It means a lot to me :)

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  6. Sometimes the things we have to do feel very hard, but it sounds like you are doing the best and most grown-up thing possible. I can only imagine how hard it must be to move back in with your parents and accept support after being independent, and of course going from living together to a long-distance relationship feels awful as well, but I am impressed to see how great you embrace the change and how determined you seem to be to focus on the present and the good there is.
    It will all pay off in the end, you will grow as a person and will be able to look back at this time in the future, knowing it was a sacrifice you needed to make to get you where you are now.
    I am happy you decided to take us with you on that journey and share your life. Oh, and the grey hair and glasses look awesome.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

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    1. Thank you so much Anne :) My heart was telling me to stay, but my brain was telling me to get the hell back in school and stop messing around, hahaha. It has been really hard emotionally, but I know you are right- It will all be worth it in the end! Thank you so much for having my back and being soo soo supportive through all of this. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and sweet comments! You always know how to make me smile :) Thank you, Anne. I know you are right. I will keep my chin up and keep marching on!

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  7. Aww Rachel, I want to send you all the hugs and kisses I can! I honestly though think that the decision you made, made you the bravest girl on earth. I know you went "home", but moving away from your bf must be hard. At least I've never been able to do so and always followed the man in my life hehe :) except now that I'm in London.
    Also I think your attitude towards the whole thing is amazing. You go girl :) I always like to think change is a good thing. If it wasn't, in the long run, you wouldn't have done it!
    Remember to enjoy studying, it'll be over sooner than you think. :)
    Lots of love,
    Emma xxx

    www.wellemma.com

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    1. Ps. That hair! Wow! I love it! :)

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    2. You are seriously the sweetest, Emma :) I cannot tell you how often your comments make my day!! It's been a really rough time, which is why I took a bit of a break from social media haha but Carl and I are finally settling in :) I've always gone where my guy has gone too, so parting ways for now after 7 years of being together felt SO wrong... I have to agree with you- change is always a good thing and if he and I are both working on something we love and improving ourselves, it will only be better when we come together again :) I hope you are having an amazing time in London. It's seriously so amazing there! I can't wait to catch up on all of your adventures on your blog with a good cup of hot cocoa and see what you've been up to!!

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  8. You're so incredible! A couple of years from now you'll loo back and realize that this was meant to be, and the best decision. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you so so much Sasha! I agree... I have only a year or so of school left and I know it will just fly by so incredibly fast. Thank you so much for your support! :) I hope your weekend is going well so far!

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  9. Wow, I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you - but I agree with everyone else! I think if you were missing it that much it's probably the better decision. The good thing is that you're keeping a positive attitude and the distance from your fiancee is only temporary :) I wish you all the best in your studies and I hope everything works out for you; you definitely deserve it!

    Sam | http://mybeautycloud.com

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    1. Thank you so much, Samantha! It honestly came out of nowhere so it was hard when things started moving so quickly!! I know this time will fly by really quickly, so it doesn't seem so bad in the end :) Thank you so much for taking the time to read that whole thing, haha! You are amazing, and I hope you are having a great weekend so far!

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  10. awwww things will definitely look up. it's really brave of you to switch something you've been doing and then going back to your fam and all of that. the crazy thing is once we start looking back, we'll see it as another memory. i hope you a great semester though! also LOVING your hair. i love the dark roots and then the super white hair all over.

    http://www.fionnac.com

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    1. Thank you so much Fionna! :) It's been extremely hard adjusting to living with my parents again and I feel super defeated, but I know I can't look at it like that... You're absolutely right- it's going to go by so quickly and I know I'll get a good story out of it in the end! And i'm so glad you like my hair!! I've been letting the roots grow out to give my poor hair a break, hahaha. I hope you are doing well and having a great weekend! Thank you soo much for reading :)

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  11. Rachel! I read this a couple of days ago and all I can say is, you go gurl - it's definitely a crazy journey you're right but I think you went with your gut feeling and you should stick with it :) I'm going through something similar myself, and I have to say, sometimes last minute decisions do turn out for the best. You'll probably find that you end up surprised and pleased that you decided to make this choice too. Hope your classes are going well, and of course, like everyone else, love the hair and those glasses!

    Cherie x
    say hi at sinonym

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    1. Thank you so much for reading Cherie! :) It's been super stressful but I have my eye on the prize and I am constantly reminding myself why I am doing this... Which is harder than you think because sometimes my parents can be difficult to live with, haha! I hope you are making happy decisions and your stress is manageable! I can't wait to hear all about your adventures and see how you are doing so far in 2016 and I can't wait to see what amazing changes and decisions you have been making so far!

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  12. Such a cute look!! I love your hair babe!

    Adi xx
    www.fancycorrectitude.com

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    1. Thank you so much Adi :) I hope you are doing well!!

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  13. Oh Rachel, despite all the panic and roller coaster or events and emotions...this sounds like such a wonderful opportunity for you. I have absolutely no doubt that you'll thrive in school & in Chicago. Sometimes life has this way of throwing us major curve balls that end up changes the courses of our life. I wish you all the best.

    Mallory
    Http://perhapsbananas.org

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    1. Thanks Mallory :) You are seriously so sweet and you always bring a smile to my face! It's super weird being in my old 'hood, but I know it'll work out just fine in the end. Another year will fly by in the blink of an eye, so this will all seem like no big deal soon enough! I can't wait to catch up on your blog and see what i've been missing on your end :) I hope you're doing well and staying warm, Mallory!!

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  14. Out of all the awful stuff, came out this amazing solution and opportunity. So sorry to hear about the horrible bosses, minimum wage and barely managing it all, Rachel. Your parents are so good! I think this is such an amazing chance for you, hon. Even though you went through such a massive change it's all working out now and it's worth being thankful for. You and Jake will be just fine, girlie. My hubs (then boyfriend) and I did long distance for good 2.5 years and check us out - finally together (and married!) and couldn't be happier. Everything will work out super great for you babe, I just know it! Keep your chin up and keep moving forward :) Massive hugs your way!!
    xox Nadia
    http://www.mielandmint.com/

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    1. Hi Nadia! I am so sorry that I'm so late to respond. Things got soo busy out of nowhere! I completely agree with you... I know Jake and I will always find a way while we long distance, but this entire time we are just working on making ourselves better for when we meet again :) oh my GOSH I had no idea you guys were long distance for that long! I gotta ask how you did that! You are both truly amazing and I can tell your love was worth waiting for! I am so happy for you two, that is seriously such an amazing feat to accomplish! I am seriously so inspired by you guys. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I know it's only 1 year or a little more, but it will be just fine in the end :) I hope you're doing well beautiful. Happy Friday!

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  15. Aww, good luck with everything! That's crazy that you managed two cross-country moves two times within one year. I hope school in Chicago is going well! Also, those warby parker glasses are so cute on you :)

    Mili

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    1. Oh gosh I KNOW! I am having moments where I am like, "what the HECK am I thinking?" but I'm interested in improving myself and making things right. 1 and a half years are nothing in comparison to an entire lifetime :) Thanks for reading Mili! I hope you're doing well and have a good weekend :)

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  16. I think you made the right decision. Good luck with your studies and the long-distance relationship. I wish you all the best!

    By the way, your hair is gorgeous! And so is your scarf - is it really handmade?! That's so cool!

    Hugs from Denmark x
    Mathilde | MATHILDE JULIE

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    1. Thanks beautiful :) I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story! I have a feeling everything will be just fine! And I made this scarf last year! Oh my gosh, it's SO heavy hahaha but it's just a super easy ribbed crochet stitch with thick yarn! I think I banged this out in 2 nights :) Do you crochet at all? I can totally send some videos your way if you're interested! Hope you're doing well and happy Friday!

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  17. Hi Rachel, I'm really glad we found each other too (about the comment you left in my blog). I think that is amazing that you share all this with us, the things that are happening in your life, because its not easy. I've been blogging for about a month now and I am very insecure about posting my pictures, let alone share my feelings. I really appreciate that you're letting us into your life. I think you made the right choice, it's amazing to have support from your parents, and you should accept it. Trust me, once you're done with your Biology degree, you will not regret it. Besides, with those glasses and hair you are ready to rock school! Please do keep me updated about everything, and if you need someone to talk to, you can always count on me (really). I'm currently 2 years away from finishing my Marketing degree and it's been filled with ups and downs, now that I'm back to school from winter break i'm finding it so hard to blog, but it's something that I really like, so I'll have to find a way to make it work, have u got any advice for that? :) Send Carl my love (that little guy is such a cutie).

    Always wishing you the best, Ana

    http://www.indiesuns.com

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    1. Ana, your comments are always so incredible thoughtful. You are such an amazing person with a huge heart! You know what, even though you have only been blogging for a month, you are WAY ahead of the game! I should pull up some of my posts from just a little over two years ago... They were HORRIBLE XD I was so afraid to share any photos of myself too and I was afraid to talk about anything at all but after a while you just stop caring so much. I was always extremely afraid of getting cyber bullied (I was bullied in Highschool) so It kept me from doing a lot of things, but you'll realize soon that there are so many kind and supportive people out there who just want to see you succeed and grow as a blogger and person :)
      I am so happy we can be school buddies! We can suffer together because I think I have a little less than 2 years at this point myself haha. So, I don't have a lot of advice because I am terrible with time management and blogging while i'm invested in school. I mean look at me, I had 3 days off class so far and havent posted in two weeks XD However I WILL tell you that if you schedule EVERYTHING as in relaxing time, friend time, school time etc, you will find that there are chunks of blogging time here and there. Also, I make a plan for the posts I want to feature and when I have free time I shoot them all in one day (if possible) and space out the content through out the week. Let me know what tips and tricks you come up with! Happy Friday Ana, you are amazing :)

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  18. Rachel! I stumbled upon some blog resources that would be totally awesome for you, and so I came here to check in. I know it's been said already, but I really admire how real and transparent you are here - that is so much more brave than making a video in my opinion (but it still is your 2016 Resolution, so I think everyone here would love to keep you accountable).

    I hope all is as well as it can be, and Jake is such a sweetheart! 100% for difficult but best decisions, and let's catch up with Jake and Fran when you visit! You get to come here because single digit temperatures. That is all ;).

    Wishing you the best! And yay for working with animals again :)

    Gregory

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    1. Hi Rachel! I second Greg's comment!

      I'm really stoked that you're going back to working with animals! It takes a lot of courage to continue that journey and be transparent about it despite the experiences that you've had. Congratulations for taking a step in a direction that you feel is right for you. I'm very glad that you have such an understanding and supportive family (particularly Jake and Carl) in your life.

      2016 will also be a challenging & surprising year for me as I am also taking a step into the unknown, which is a scary thing, but I'm confident that we will get to places and be happier in the end! :)

      I'm really excited to hear more about your journey and look forward to seeing you with Jake and Grego when you come visit!

      Let us know if you need anything! I would be happy to cat-sit Carl over the internet. teehee :P

      Hugs,
      Francesca

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    2. Greg!! You are the sweetest! I can't believe you came back to check on me! Oh gosh, I feel so bad breaking the news to you this way but It happened so fast! Haha! I really appreciate your thoughtfulness, and for SURE! When I come back for a visit we should definitely catch up! I think a certain Francesca owes me a singing video? IDK though :D I really hope you are doing well and finding your way back in SF. Email me anytime so we can keep being pen pals! Talk to you soon :)

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    3. Hi Francesca! I feel like crying, this is the sweetest internet reunion EVER! Haha! We were literally just bitching about how sucky it is working in the animal field, but dude... I miss it so much hahaha I feel like there's been this huge gaping hole missing from my identity and I don't care about the money... I just want to be involved again. Plus I got Suga Daddy Jake to support my deadbeat ass ;) Haha! Just joking!

      You are going to be amazing in 2016 and I cannot wait to see and hear about your new adventures! I know you were feeling a little anxious before, but not to worry! You're smart and super qualified for any job you could ever want :) I'll keep pestering Jake so he keeps me well informed and I will internet stalk you for the rest of that info and keep checking youtube for that video you owe me... :D bahaha Just joking! I will post extra Carl pics, just for you. My Parents "hate" cats but they're carrying him around like a baby and buying him toys left and right. Also, I spent the night at a friends house and they face timed me so Carl could say "goodnight".
      Hit me up anytime Francesca! I can't tell you how much it means to me that you and Gregory stopped by my blog :) Miss you guys! Talk to you soon!!

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  19. That sure was a big roller coaster for you, Rachel! I am sure you will nail these classes and new opportunities will open up for you :) Sending a lot of positive energy and motivation your way. You can do it! :) x

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. Thanks Leta :) Whew! I am glad it is over for now and all I have to do is focus on completing school! Thanks so much for being there for me. Your words mean more to me than you know! Hope you're doing well and Happy Friday!

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  20. Aw hun, I just want to give you a big hug right now! :( I know exactly what you're going through, because I had to go through something very similar myself, a few years back. If you ever want to talk, or vent, just know that I'm here for you, and you can always e-mail me, or message me on Twitter and we can Skype or anything you need, babe. <3 I know how tough it must be for you, especially leaving your other half behind, but trust me, it does get better. Sending lots of love your way, hun, I really hope you're okay. <3

    Kay
    http://www.shoesandglitter.com/

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    1. Aww Kay, you are the sweetest! Thank you so much for opening yourself up to me. I really appreciate that so much! It's been tough but getting better the busier I get. I know this time will pass in the blink of an eye and everything will be great in the end. Thank you so much for being there for me, Kay! You make me so happy :)

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  21. This is lovely, as long as your in the right place to progress both career wise and in happiness, that's what matters! I wish you all the luck in your classes!!x

    AimeeSueXO
    Bloglovin

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    1. Thanks Aimee :) It's been such an emotional rollercoaster but I've been trying to stay busy so I don't have too much time to dwell. I hope you're doing well and have a great weekend! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my story!

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    1. Thank you so much beautiful! I hope you have a wonderful weekend :)

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  23. You are amazeballs. I hate leaving blog comments but I'm going to anyway because you are awesome and I'm proud of you!! K BYE.

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    1. Lmao You betch. You have been hearing my drama for the last few weeks and STILL came on here to get the sappy deets. GOD BLESS YOU CHILD! That's true commitment XD Talk to you soon! As in now i'll probably just text you haha!

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  24. Awe! So crazy girl I was wondering if you had moved because of something I saw on your instagram I think. I am sure it is super hard moving back home but you are getting to finish your degree and follow your passion which is soo important and you will probably be happy once you are done :) Also...Chicago seems like a pretty cool place! I have never been but heard good things. Spring is right around the corner, hang in there!

    xx
    Lauren
    www.Blameitonbarneys.com

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